Fascist Girlfriend

When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag,
And you will soon discover that your fascist girlfriend
Is some fascist’s ex-girlfriend.
She will deploy evil sexual sponges,
Annoying sing-a-longs while driving,
And her whole “dance-of-light-with-several-scarves" thing
Will suddenly seem all strung-out (sort of).
All those lovely mornings-after
Will be bourgeois attacks on nationalism
With five fascist planes always circling overhead.
Boy, you shouldn’t have to pay for that, if you’re a union man.
Besides, you’re fighting against fascism for The Girlfriend
Who Wants To Get Herself Pregnant By Hitler.
She’s a fascist meme transmitter,
A garden-variety corrupt Republican a-hole.
And there’s some consensus among the young
That certain fully-brained girlfriends exhibit the ten distinct fascist features of
Former Trotskyite right-wing chicken-butt Klingons.
Musharaff isn’t exactly a populist, but isn’t he more nationalist
Than your fascist girlfriend?
I mean, she thinks “Starship Troopers” was a good movie —
The sign of a true fascist.
Look – this is Saddam, this is Mussolini,
And this is your girlfriend’s crack.
Or maybe her dad’s.

(from Annoying Diabetic Bitch, forthcoming from Combo Books, fall 2007)