Famke Janssen

I would like to be her Toodle Boople
And she could be my Poodle Boople.
And from that comfort zone,
Famke and Rebecca Romjin could pretend
To undress each other,
Or at least undress each other’s poodles.
I’d like to dye Famke’s poodle mauve,
And I know how I’d do it, too –
Kool-Aid.
It should also be mentioned
That not only does Famke have a giant ass,
She also has a very powerful mind
And a hoo-hoo like Tura Satana’s
That snaps into action at the first sign of trouble.
And speaking of poodles,
Have you heard about the many children
Forced out of Eric Estrada’s cocker spaniel?
It must’ve been painful
Like Famke’s lasik surgery in British Columbia.

(from Annoying Diabetic Bitch, forthcoming from Combo Books, fall 2007)