Jake Gyllenhaal's Dog

The ghost of a dog coffeepot foretold:
Jake Gyllenhaal has two cats and my parents have three cats
and I got a second dog.

All it takes to start a new religion
is resentment and a pot of cold coffee
and Jake Gyllenhaal walking his dog.

It's funny that people find other people getting coffee really interesting,
or walking their dogs in the dog park —
welcome to Christian Carnivore ‘04:

with only the occasional torn-up slipper and scattered
hieroglyphic chapters
as proof that any human beings ever lived there,
the dog coffeepot became a sign that,
for the poor, coffee is always already over.
Didn’t Thomas Jefferson predict that would happen
once dark bilious vapors began to define the character
of our dogs?

Hey! Aren't we supposed to just have good things happen to us?
Jake Gyllenhall’s dog is as much of a dog as that Brazilian double-bagger
Giselle Bundchen’s dog,
and I’d really like to know
how shepherds do it with their dogs.

Kim’s sharing spirit has done a great job in telling us about some of the things
that shepherds do with their dogs.

What is the difference between Christianity and all other religions?
The answer is that Dr. Bob is mind blowing.
So consider the story of Ben Stiller and Jake Gyllenhaal:
they got their eyes checked and their dogs autoclaved.

How did Jake Gyllenhaal’s dog get way up there on that fence post anyway?
That black poodle-looking dog had a rocking a cool 'fro
and dog food heaped with Pepto-Bismol.

What is the "abomination that causes desolation" in Mark 13:14?
The daily news, the conflicting messages in the world
and the longing for another man’s funky dung.

Humans in zoos, cross breeding —
it’s evolutionists vs creationists and I’ll be pooping on both
and from beneath the dirty hood comes an awkward
I love you on the sofa in the dark:

It was Jesus weeping as Jake Gyllenhaal returned
from Dramatic Dog Walk/Smoothie Excursion.
It's all over.
The dog has been walked
and the smoothie is just a distant memory.